i 3521 

26 C6 International Copyrighted (in England, her Colonies, and 

15 ited States) Edition of the Works of the Best Authors 



py 1 



No. 312 



A COLLEGE CINDERELLA 

An Original Three Act Play 



BY 

EDWARD E. AND AUGUSTA R. KIDDER 



COPYRKiHT. 1915. BY SAMUEL FRENCH 



ALL RIGHTS RESERVED 



CAUTION.— Amateurs and Professionp,Is are hereby warned that 
A College Cinderella being fully protected under the Copyright Laws 
of the United States, is subject to Royalty, and any one presenting the 
play without the consent of Samuel French will be liable to the penal- 
ties by law provided. Application for the right to produce A Col-. 
LEGE Cinderella must be made to Samuel French, 28-30 West 38th 
Street, New York. 

PRICE 25 CENTS, 



New York 
SAMUEL FRENCH 

PLTBLISHER 

28-30 WEST 3Sth STREET 



London 

SAMUEL FRENCH, Ltd. 

26 Southampton Street 

STRAND 



••••«•••••••••••• ^^ 



A COLLEGE CINDERELLA 



An Original Three Act Play 



BY 

EDWARD E. AND AUGUSTA R. KIDDER 



Copyright, 1915, by SAMUEL FRENCH 



ALL RIGHTS RESERVED 



CAUTION.— Amateurs and Professionals are hereby warned that 
A College Cinderella being fully protected under the Copyright Laws 
of the United States, is subject to Royalty, and any one presenting the 
play Avithout the consent of Samuel French will be liable to the penal- 
ties by law provided. Application for the right to produce A Col- 
lege Cinderella must be made to Samuel French,. 28-30 West 38th 
Street, New York. 



Nj:W YORK 

SAMUEL FRENCH 

PUBLISHER 
28-30 WEST 38th STREET 



LONDON 

SAMUEL FRENCH, LTD. 

26 SOUTHAMPTON STREET 
STRAND 



/f/r . 






©CI.0 42070 



QUI 25 1915 



A COLLEGE CINDERELLA. 



An orig^inal three act play by Edward E. and 
xAus^usta Raymond Kidder. ' 

For the use of Schools, Academies, Institutes, 
Seminaries, Colleges, Clubs, Amateur Organiza- 
tions, etc., etc. 

Can be produced simply or elaborately as circum- 
staiices may warrant. 



A COLLEGE CINDERELLA. 



COSTUMES. 

Regular Summer School attire for Act ist, 
Grecian draperies for Acts 2d and 3rd. 

NOTE : — The parts are written with a view to 
simple " every day " colloquial delivery, no " act- 
ing " being necessary in Acts ist and 3rd and only 
adherence to rhyme, rhythm and a certain poetical 
cadence in Act 2nd. All the parts are good! 

Only one Scene — at no expense — is required. 
If necessary, all of the parts could be played by 
girls. 

Mr. Kidder is the author of those famous stage 
successes " Peaceful Valley " — " A Poor Relation " 
— " Sky Fame "— " Shannon of the Sixth "—etc., 
etc., w^hile Mrs. Kidder is a brilliant newspaper 
and magazine writer, besides being a prominent 
New York Club Woman. 

Act 1st about 60 minutes 
Act 2nd " 15 " 

Act 3rd " 18 

12 acting parts. 

(4 Men—% Girls.) 
: 4 



A COLLECxE CINDERELLA. 



CHARACTERS. 

Deeva Hale. The " College Cinderella " — " Poor 
and proud." (Simple, lovable, ambitious young girl. 
Shabby, but always neat and pretty — " put upon " 
by many.) 

Wysteria Hood. With more money than man- 
ners. " Rich and proud." {Haughty, strong, 
'' dressy " young scholar.) 

Nora McGinn. A merry but troublesome pupil. 
(High-class young Irish girl.) 

Ernestine Love. A rich young scholar. Kind 
and altruistic. {A fine character.) 

Miss Moss. Head of Beaverdale College. 
" Dignity, my dears, dignity." (Middle-aged — firm 
— knowledgable — with a sense of humor.) 

Eleanor Haynes. A backward pupil. (Attrac- 
tive young girl) 

Pex\rl Snow. A negro cook at Beaverdale. 
(" Blacked-up " — strong character part.) 

Willard Love. Brother to Ernestine — sharing 
with his sister a fortune and her fine views of life. 
(Manly young collegian.) 

Clyde Little. A " ne'er-do-well " — " Weak as 
water." (Indifferent young collegian.) 

" Charley " Chase. More for sports than 
studies. (Typical young college athlete.) 

" Tom " Tackle. Another of the same sort. 

Plcnt\ of pupils to ''fill upr 
5 



/\ COLLEGl': CINDERELLA. 



PROPERTY LIST. 

Act L Large handsome school globe on pedestal. 
Blackboard. Typewriter and 2 stools. Small 
** settee." Schoolroom chair — desk — 'Small platform. 
A dozen written manuscripts, not too new — one 
typewritten one- — cover for typewriter — grate for 
blazing paper — old copybook — mantel above grate 
to hold matches — newspapers — a vase, etc. Chalk — 
tennis-racquet — for typed MS. — " printed " note for 
Pearl — note-book for Clyde. 

Acts II and III. Broom — suit-case — railroad 
guide for Deeva. x\ncient sword for '' War." 
Large gnarled stick for Ignorance. Book (gold 
color) for " Knowledge." Half a dozen wands — 
flags — banners — festoons, wreaths— flowers, foliage 
for decorations. 

6 



A COLLEGE CINDERELLA. 



COSTUMES. 

Deeva. Very simple brown, gray or dull blue 
dress ; plain skirt and sleeves. Could be of common 
** glove finish " cambric such as is used for linings — 
comes in all colors and sold in all dry goods shops — 
made up dull side out and well pressed with hot 
iron on reverse side to take out newness. Turn- 
over white collar and cuffs. Shabby but neat. 

Miss Moss. Well dressed — handsome, plain, 
dignified afternoon gown. 

Ernestine. Unobtrusively but very well dressed 
in good taste. 

Wysteria. Elegantly and modishly attired, hair 
arranged ultra-fashionably. Attractively, but just 
a little over-dressed. 

Pearl Snow, ist Act. Gingham or calico dress, 
sleeves rolled up, large white apron. Cook's white 
cap, very neat. 

3rd Act. *' Loud " up-to-date costume. Skirt one 
bright color, jacket another, hat fantasically trimmed 
with many colored feathers and flowers — flowers 
can be made of tissue paper. Flamboyant make-up 
but good clothes, not poor or untidy, rather smart 
and stylish than otherwise. Pearl can wear long 
dark-hvo\Ni\, cotton gloves, very tight-fitting to look 
like her skin, thus avoid blacking up her hands and 
arms. 

2nd and 3rd Acts. If economy is necessary, the 
classical draperies used in the Triumph of Knov/1- 
edge scene can be made very inexpensively of 

7 



8 A COLLl^:Cli CINDERELLA. 

cheesecloth in a A^ariety of colors, skirts gatnered 
on to belts, worn over scant underslips in same 
shade, made of glove finish cambric dull side out, 
thoroughly pressed on reverse side to soften the 
material. Long straight folds of cheesecloth hang- 
ing from the shoulders, belted in one side, left flow- 
ing on the other, are graceful and require almost no 
sewing. Pictures of Clio, Erato, Hygeia, Juno, 
Mars, Saturn, etc., found in the back part of Web- 
-ster's Unabridged Dictionary give good idea of 
these draperies and costumes which can be modified 
or amplified. The girls can arrange their hair in the 
- Psyche knot or Grecian braid and wear the Ampyx 
Grecian band or fillet, which gives character. All 
the skirts should touch the ground all round. If 
colored foot-gear is not convenient, colored stock- 
ings drawn on over old slippers, or even over snugly 
fitting rubber overshoes, look very well. 



A College Cinderella 



ACT I. 



Scene : — A stage of some sort in large audience 
hall. It must be lit and have a curtain to drop 
betzveen acts, or curtains to slide on r. and l. 
and close at c. A zvindow c. and doors r. and 
L. if possible. Stage is set to represent a class- 
room with seats, etc., removed. Desk on small 
platform l. Covered typewriter at back l. c. 
zvith small stool behind it. A fireless grate is 
set in R. Portieres or hangings at back r. and l. 
A large school globe on pedestal at back r. zvith 
chair. Small " settee " r. c, chair l. c. Mantel 
above grate zvith box of matches, vases — a 
nezvspaper, etc. A large blackboard is against 
zvall c. ofi zvhich is plainly chalked: '* $ioo 
prise for the best short play, on an educational 
subject, offered by Willard and Ernestine 
Love. Competition closes June 9th.") 

'J'ime: — Noon. Month — June. Location — any- 
zvhere. 

As curtain rises, the pupils are massed at r. 
standing and gating at Miss Moss, zvho is at 
desk L. and has been addressing them. All who 
are in Act I are there except Willard and 
Ernestine Love and Pearl Snow. Deeva 
Hale is cleaning and polishing globe r. zvith 
9 



10 A COLLEGE CINDERELLA. 

her back to audience. Stands on stoolT All 
applaud as curtain rises, n'liile Miss Moss hozvs 
and smiles. 
Charley. (Vigorously) Now, then, boys and 
girls! (All give the ''college yell") 

- B-E-A-Y-E-R-D-A-L-E— ! 
E. E. E. we know it's bound to please, 
E. E. E. we utter it with Es 
Zip — Boom — Ah-ha-ha." 

Miss Moss. (Points to blackboard) Prospective 
playrights and pupils, that notice has been posted 
for a fortnight. You have one week more before 
the competition closes. I look for something fine. 
(All applaud) But we must do more work and 
better work. Not so much out of doors, as in! 
(Pupils gaze at each other azvkwardly) We are 
called Beaverdale College — and — in industry we 
must emulate the beaver. 

Tom. (Raises hand) But the beaver works out 
of doors! (All laugh) 

Miss Moss. (Icily — raps desk zvith ferrule) 
Mr. Morgan of Philadelphia wrote — in 1868 — an 
exhaustive article on the beaver. I will hear Mr. 
Tackle recite it at six this evening. (Tom sub- 
sides) Beavers fell great trees by patient industry. 
We must overcome obstacles, or our college be- 
comes a byword and a reproach and our crest is 
liable to be a sloth rampant and a tortoise couchant. 
(All laugh. She raps desk zvith ferrule) It is not 
a laughing matter. Acropolis Academy across the 
street is rapidly overtaking us. This is an informal 
talk to the contestants for the prize play. (Looks 
them over) Apparently the whole college intends 
to compete. (Sighs) I am afraid that you have 
more courage than you have judgment ! 

Charley, (r. c. Holds up hand — proudly) I 
wrote ten pages in ten minutes, Miss Moss. 



A COLLEGE CINDERELLA. ii 

Miss Moss. (Shakes her head and sighs) And 
poor foolish Thomas Grey wasted seven years over 
his Elegy! Dear, dear! (Charley subsides) I 
am quite ready to answer any sensible questions re- 
garding the play. But your watchword must be 
work — not shirk. This particularly applies to a 
great many of the contestants here to-day, whom I 
will not distress by naming. Activity — yes — but 
no wild haste. Dignity, my dears, dignity ! Slow- 
ness and moderation always. 

All. (Staccato) What? Always? 

Miss Moss. (Firmly) Yes, ahvays. 

Nora. (r. — holds up hand) Suppose a cozv is 
chasing ye? 

Miss Moss. (Grimly) Miss McGinn will write 
a three page essay on the cow, and read it to me at 
3. 30. (Nora subsides) Remember the words of 
the immortal Bard, who pinnacles all literature ! 
Were he with us to-day, I am sure that he would 
not disdain to compete for- our prize of One 
Hundred Dollars. How much in English money? 

All. About thirty-one sovereigns ! 

Miss Moss. French? 

All. About five hundred francs ! 

Miss Moss. German? 

All. Four hundred marks ! 

Miss Moss. Italian? 
, All. F'ive hundred and twenty-six lira ! . 

Miss Moss. Russian? 

All. Twenty-five roubles ! 

Miss Moss. Very good ! Knowing so much 
about money, you should be able to earn it. And 
here is your opportunity to obtain quite a sum. 
One third of what Goldsmith received for the 
" Vicar of Wakefield " and the exact amount paid 
him for his lovely poem of "The Traveller." Btit 
to revert to my .subject. The words of Shakes- 
peare were : " Wisely and slow — they stumble 
who run fast," — (Looks around) Which of you 



12 A COLLEGE CINDERELLA. 

authors can tell me where those lines are to be 
found? (All look at each other azvkwardly) Can 
you, Mr. Chase? 

(ToM^ R., zvhispers to Charley, r. c.) 

Charley. {Boldly) Hamlet! (All laugh. 
Charley looks savagely at Tom) 

Miss Moss. (Sharply) I said tell — not guess! 
Mr. Chase will commit Hamlet's advice to the 
players, and I will hear it at 3.45. It is always in- 
teresting. (Charley crushed. Miss Moss sighs) 
Have I no Shakesperean scholars? And yet the 
majority of you would emulate him in his profes- 
sion ! 

Wysteria. (r., raises hand) Henry the 5th. 

Miss Moss. (Severely) Henry the Fifth was 
noted for speed, not slowness. Miss Hood will 
study his " Crispians Day " speech and I will hear 
it at 5 o'clock. There are some fifty lines and 
about four hundred words. (Grimly) She zvill be 
pleased. (Wysteria crushed 

Clyde. (Up c, lasily holds up hand) I think 
I heard it in a play once. Miss Moss, but I can't 
remember which play it was. 

Miss Moss. (Sarcastically) In a play? Is it 
possible, Mr. Little? How very remarkable. 
(Feelingly) I am thoroughly discouraged. Thank 
the fates, we have no visitors. 

Deeva. (Faces audience still standing on stool R. 
at back. Holds up hand timidly) The lines are 
from Romeo and JuHet, Miss Moss, Act 2nd, Scene 
3rd, and spoken by Friar Lawrence to Romeo. 

(All look at her in amazement and indignation, 
turning hacks to audience in unison and very 
quickly.) 



A COLLEGE CINDERELLA. 13 

Miss Moss. (With a sigh of relief) At last! 
The authors class is saved! Thank you, Deeva 
Hale. I am Very proud of you. Your household 
tasks are remitted for to-day. (Descends from 
platform zvith dignity and goes l. To pupils) 
When the gong sounds in Classroom B., I will have 
a few words more to say to you, after talking with 
the donors of the prize. 

{Exits zvith dignity l. — zvhen he is out of sight and 
hearing — the 'pupils make an angry rush at 
stool.) 

Wysteria. (Angrily) That's just like you, 
Deeva Hale. You think you're smart, don't 
you? 

Charley. (Annoyed) And I'm not so sure 
now that it wasn't Hamlet! I beheve it was his 
speech to lago ! 

(All laugh.) 

Wysteria. (c, to Deeva, spitefully) You 
needn't help me to dress in the future, either. I'll 
pay the dollar a week to someone else. 

Deeva. (c, shrinking) Oh, please don't say any 
more. Miss Hood. I— I— didn't mean to offend 
anyone, but Miss Moss seemed so distressed. 
(Deeva goes up and sits sadly on typezvriter stool 
— her head in her hands) 

Tom. (r. c.) I don't think such an awful lot of 
Shakespeare. I wouldn't want to hurt his feelings 
by telling him so, but it's a fact. 

Charley. (Looks at him scornfully) I read 
that character of the Prince of Denmark once. 

Tom. Then I'll bet you had to! 

Charley, (l. c.) There's too much of Hamlet. 
He's a chatty beggar! 



T4 A COLLEGE CINDERELLA. 

(All laugh.) 

Eleanor. (l.) My uncle says that Shake- 
speare isn't the vogue any more. Our best people 
are not taking him up. 

Nora. (l. c. Indignantly) Taking him up? 
He didn't want to be taken up. He expressly for- 
bade it. {Dramatically) " And cursed be he who 
moves my bones." 

Eleanor. Oh, dear, how dull you are. I mean 
taken up socially. 

Nora. Poor old Shakey. I thought he was 
*' not for a day, but for all time." 

Eleanor. Uncle says that Beaumont and 
Fletcher were far superior. 

Nora. Which asylum is your uncle in now? 

(All laugh. Eleanor indignant.) 

Tom. Charley, you might tell me what your 
play is about? 

Charley. {Cheerfully) Certainly. It's about 
finished. 

(Tom and all hut Clyde and Charley drift up- 
stage, talk in pantomime — compare man- 
iisripts, zvhich they take from their pockets, 
etc.) 

Clyde. (c, to Charley, confidentially) 
Charley, have you any money? 

Charley. {Proudly) Money? Well, I should 
say I had ! 

Clyde. {Eagerly) How much? 

Charley. Two thirty-five. 

Clyde. {Eagerly) Two hundred and thirty- 
five? 

Charley. Two dollars and thirty-five I 



A COLLEGE CINDERELLA. 15 

Clyde. (Disgusted) Oh, pshaw! You won't 
do! I must borrow a hundred. 

Charley. A hundred? Good gracious! What 
for? 

Clyde. Oh, I've tired of it all. I want to cut 
the college. 

Charley. {Drily) Why not wait a bit? 
Maybe the college will cut you. A hundred, eh? 
Why don't you try for the prize? There's the 
exact amount. You might win it. 

Clyde, {hnpatiently) No, no! College is no 
place for me. I told my people so, but they would 
send me. I'm no student. 

Charley. No student ? Why, you're one of the 
best pitchers we've got. 

Clyde. I'm fettered. A bold, free life for me. 

Charley. You talk like a pirate. Ha, ha, ha \ 
If you wait till you borrow a hundred dollars from 
me, you'll be so feeble from old age that you won't 
be able to tote it outside the gates. 

Clyde. (Nervously) Charley, I'll tell you the 
truth. I bet on a horse race — lost a hundred on a 
sure thing. 

Charley. (Interrupts) Sure to lose ! I know ! 

Clyde. Didn't have the money to pay, and if I 
don't settle in a week or so, the man will expose me. 
I'm in an awful fix. 

Charley. (Drops on settee r. c.) Well. I 
should say so ! I wouldn't be in your shoes for a 
trifle. 

Clyde. (Coaxingly) Your father is rich! 

Cpiarley. Yes, but he didn't get it betting on 
horse races. 

Clyde. You could get the money from him, and 
loan it to me. 

Charley. Oh, could I ? But you'd be owing 
the hundred just the same. 

Clyde. Ah ! But you wouldn't expose me, or 



i6 A COU.KGE CINDERELLA. 

hound me for it. And besides, this other is a debt 
of honor. 

Charley. (Springs up, disgust ed) A debt of 
dishonor, you mean ! You gambled and had no 
money to pay if you lost. Well, of all the nerve ! 
No sir-e-e ! 

(Turns away from him l. Clyde, disappointed, 
braces himself and addresses the others, who 
come down-stage as he speaks.) 

Clyde, (r. c.) And do you people think that 
this play ofifer is all right ? / don't believe it's on 
the level. 

Eleanor, (l.) Why, what do you mean? 

Clyde. (Sits on settee r.) Oh, none of these 
prize contests ever are. 

Nora. (l. c. — indignantly) Well, that's a nice 
reflection on the Committee, I must say ! 

Wysteria. (r.) Yes, and on Beaverdale, too. 

Charley, (l.) You'd better not let Willard 
Love hear you say that. 

Eleanor. Or his sister, either. 

Clyde. (Contemptuously) Pooh! I'd let any- 
one hear it. Merit never wins in these cases. It's 
favor and influence. 

Tom. (r. c, annoyed) Say! You sound like 
a dog in the manger to me ! Have you written any 
play? 

Clyde. Never you mind whether I have or not. 
Admitting that I have, it won't win the prize. 

All. (Heartily) Of course not. 

Clyde. (Taken aback) Well, thank you! I 
don't seem to be very popular around here. 

Charley. Popular ! You're as popular as Dick 
Dead Eye in " Pinafore." 

Tom. Or the equinoctial on circus day. 

Nora. Or the blight in potatoes. 

Wysteria. Or an alarm clock. 



A COLLEGE CINDERELLA. 17 

Clyde. (Indignantly) Well, upon my word! 

Tom. ni tell you what's the matter with you. 
You never have a pleasant word for anyone. You 
always have a grouch. You radiate discomfort and 
discontent wherever you go, and you're one of those 
pessimists who, if he had the choice of two evils, 
would take both! 

(All laugh.) 

Clyde. (Savagely) What do I care what you 
people think? You don't interest me in the least. 
I can afford to laugh at the lot of you. 

Nora. Laugh ? Why, I never even saw ye smile. 

Eleanor. He can't ! It hurts his face. 

(All laugh.) 

Clyde. (Rises — desperately) If any of you 
were in half tlie trouble I am, you'd be gloomy too. 

(IVith a revulsion of feeling, they all rush to him 
sympathetically, try to shake his hand and to 
make amends.) 

Nora. (l. c.) Poor, Mr. Little! If ye're in 
trouble, we're all sorry for ye. 

All. (Sympathetically) Yes, yes ! 

Clyde, (l. — pulls away from them) No! Let 
me alone! After all the things you've said, I don't 
want your sympathy. (Pushes them azvay and runs 
off R., followed by all but Deeva and Wysteria) 

Deeva. (l. — comes dozvn — pleadingly) Oh, 
please don't stop paying me the dollar. Miss Hood ! 
It means so much to me. I am very poor. 

Wysteria. (r. — scornfully) Don't bother me 
any more ! You're altogether too impertinent for a 
girl in your position. Such stuff ! Why, what do 



i8 A COLLEGE CINDERELLA. 

you know about plays? I don't believe you ever 
saw one in your life. 

Deeva. (Sighs) I never did. But I've read 
them. 

Wysteria. All that talk about Romeo and 
Juliet ? Why, anyone could reel that off if they got 
hold of the book. 

Deeva. (Humbly) I didn't mean to oft'end any 
one. 

Wysteria. Then what did you interfere for? 
Just to show oft* ! You ! No money, no position — 
no prospects. Humph ! (Looks at her scornfully 
and exits angrily l., Zi'Jiile Deeva goes up slozvly. 
Sinks on chair l., lays head on arm and sobs 
quietly) 

Deeva. (Sadly) And no friends! 

(WiLLARD Love enters r. She springs up startled, 
dries her eyes and comes dozvn — confused.) 

WiLLARD. (r. c.) What's the matter, Miss Hale? 

Deeva. (l. c.) I — I — oh, it's nothing of im- 
portance. 

WiLLARD. (Clenches liis fist) If anyone has 
hurt your feelings, I'd like to settle 'em ! 

Deeva. (With a sad smile) This one you 
couldn't. 

WiLLARD. Oh, a girl, eh? (Fervently) 

" Man's inhumanity to man makes countless thou- 

ands mourn " 

But woman's treatment of her sex sometimes can- 
not be borne ! 

Deeva. (Shakes her head) I think women are 
generally very good to each other. 

WiLLARD. (Sympathetically) You work too 
hard. 

Deeva. Oh, I'm used to work. 



A COLLEGE CINDERELLA. 19 

WiLLARD. So am L But I don't let it pull me 
down. {Aivkzvardly) How's your appetite? 

Deeva. Not very good. 

WiLLARD. {Impatiently) The trouble with you 
girls is that you'll eat a box of chocolates in a day, 
and then wonder you've no appetite. 

Deeva. (Sadly) 1 never had a box of chocolates 
in my life. 

WiLLARD. (Impitlsively) Let me send you 
some, won't you ? 

Deeva. {Nervously) Oh, no, no! I couldn't 
accept them. {They cross) 

WiLLARD. (l. c.) I don't see why! 

Deeva. (r. c.) I do. 

WiLLARD. Flowers — books — candy — all proper 
to send. 

Deeva. Please don't. 

WiLLARD. {Sighs) Oh, well, girls are odd, 
there's no doubt about that. Did you have a good 
breakfast ? 

Deeva. My usual one. Toast and tea. 

WiLLARD. {Disparagingly) Toast and tea! 
Good gracious ! That wouldn't nourish a glow 
worm ! Did you read what one of the greatest men 
in the world said on that subject? 

Deeva. {Smiles) There are so many greatest 
men. 

WiLLARD. Not of this sort ! The man I refer to 
is Thomas A. Edison. 

Deeva. {Nods) Edison? Oh, yes. He is 
great ! 

WiLLARD. He's about the only mortal I'd go on 
my knees to ! 

Deeva. {Enthusiastically) Oh, so would I! 
What did he say on the subject of breakfast ? From 
him it would be illuminating. 

WiLLARD. {Laughs) I see that! It might be 
electrical, too ! 

Deeva. {Laughs) Hadn't we better turn off the 



20 A COLLEGE CINDERELLA. 

current? (Both laugJi) What did he say* about 
breakfast ? 

WiLLARD. That breakfast should be the meal of 
the clay. Eor a competent engineer fills his furnaces 
and boilers when the day's work begins, not when it 
is nearing its end. A good breakfast in preference 
to a good dinner. Ahem ! I take both. 

Deeva. Ha, ha, ha ! They say that a man always 
looks after himself. 

WiLLARD. (Earnestly) Well, why shouldn't he? 
Not only has he himself to care for but — (Dif- 
fidently) if he has luck, there may be someone else 
for him to look out for. 

Deeva. (Innocently) Of course. A mother — 
sisters, and relatives of all kinds. 

WiLLARD. (Aivkivardly) I — I — didn't exactly 
mean that. 

Deeva. (Starts r.) Well, I must be going. 

WiLLARD. (Follozvs her) One moment, Aliss 
Hale. If it isn't an intrusive question, what partic- 
ular line of work are you making a specialty of ? 

Deeva. Stenography and typewriting. I hope to 
earn my living at it when I go. 

WiLLARD. (Sighs) There are so many in it. 

Deeva. That is true, but do you know of any 
channels of labor, open to w^omen, that are not 
crowded? Besides, I can keep house — cook — do a 
little dressmaking — trim hats — know how to shop 
and buy to advantage — oh, a lot of things. I'll get 
along as soon as I leave here. 

WiLLARD. I'll be sorry when you go. 

Deeva. (Nervously) Why, we'll all be going 
soon, won't we ? Tell me about the prize play. Are 
there many manuscripts ? 

WiLLARD. Yes, a great many — and more to come. 
(Eagerly) Why don't you compete? 

Deeva. Do you think the other scholars would 
like that? Mightn't they think me presuming? I 
hear that they call me the " College Cinderella ! " 



A COLLEGE CINDERELLA. 21 

WiLLARD. Cinderella? Perhaps you'll wear the 
glass slipper. 

Deeva. (Laughs) Oh, I hope not ! What could 
be more uncomfortable ! And if one should get in a 
rage and stamp one's foot — (Stamps foot) My, 
what a smash there would be. And how could one 
hurry ? 

(Enter Wysteria r. at back, cautiously. She slips 
behind curtains and listens, unseen by them.) 

WiLLARD. (Leans over T)'EEY a) Cinderella! I 
wonder if you will meet your Fairy Prince? 

Deeva. (Laughs) If he has a good position to 
offer, I shouldn't mind. 

WiLLARD. How about the position of Princess ? 

Deeva. (Laughs) Oh, no! Nothing like that. 
Princesses simply fold their hands, while other 
people wait on them. That wouldn't suit me. A 
Princess who was looking for stenography and type- 
writing wouldn't please at all. 

WiLLARD. How practical you are ! 

Deeva. (Thoughtfully) Am I? It's a girl's 
safeguard, perhaps. 

WiLLARD. (Admiringly) You're one in a thou- 
sand. 

Deeva. (In mock alarm) A thousand? Oh, 
I hope they're not all looking for stenography and 
t3^pewriting ! 

WiLLARD. Ha, ha, ha ! You're clever — there's 
no doubt about that. (Sighs) Oh, I've so many 
things that I want to say to you. 

Deeva. (Alarmed. Rises) You'll excuse me, 
won't you? 

WiLLARD. And you won't accept the box of 
chocolates ? 

Deeva. Oh, thank you — no. (Exits nervously l. 
He stands looking after her) 



22 A COLLEGE CINDERELLA. 

Wysteria. (Comes down) What do you think 
of her, Mr. Willard? 

WiLLARD. (Starts and turns) Were you hsten- 
ing? 

Wysteria. (r.) Ladies never hsten. 

Willard. (l. — zvith emphasis) Ladies don't — 

no — but 



Wysteria. Oh, I'm not going to quarrel with 
you. How do you Hke Deeva Hale ? 

Willard. \Still gazing l.) I think she's a 
remarkable girl. 

Wysteria. (Flippantly) I should say she is — 
to refuse a box of chocolates. (Szveetly) I 
wouldn't do that. (Sits on chair r. c.) 

Willard. (Absently) No? 

Wysteria. No. Never from you. I adore — 
(Pauses) chocolates. 

W^iLLARD. Isn't adoration rather a strong word? 

Wysteria. (Impatiently) Oh, well, what does 
a figure of speech amount to ? Any gift is fine if it is 
offered by the right person. (Looks at him coquet- 
tishly) It isn't the confections that I care for. I 
could buy a ton of them if I chose. But it's the one 
who sends them — the sentiment that accompanies 
them. (Watches him eagerly. He is looking l. and 
pays no attention to her. She angrily springs up) 
Oh, I think I understand, Mr. Willard. Adoration 
is too strong a word when applied to confectionery, 
but it is quite allowable when applied to your senti- 
ments towards Deeva Hale, virtually the charity 
pupil of this college ! 

Willard. (Turns — hotly) How dare you say 
such a thing. Miss Hood? Deeva Hale came here 
with a competitive scholarship. She is as well born 
and as well bred as any of us, and is a credit to 
Beaverdale. 

Wysteria. (Scornfully) In sweeping floors 
and washing dishes? 



A COLLEGE CINDERELLA. 23 

WiLLARD. She is earning her education — and is a 
superior girl. 

Wysteria. (Scornfully) In what way, please? 

WiLLARD. (Hotly) In a dozen ways. But three 
Avill suffice for mention. She has brains — manners 
— and modesty! Good-day. (Crosses. Exits 
rapidly r. Wysteria, annoyed, looks after him and 
then looks l.) 

Wysteria. So that's it, is it? Farewell to my 
chances for the prize if you have the say, Mr. 
Willard Love, but thank goodness, you're not the 
whole Committee. (Muses) Deeva Hale, eh? 
That girl will bear watching! (Exits l.) 

(A pause. Willard pops his head in r., and looks 
around cautiously. Enters, goes up to black- 
board, rubs out the *'$ioo " and chalks up 
" $200," smiling as he does so. Enter Ernes- 
tine L.) 

Ernestine. Why, what are you doing, brother? 

Willard. (Comes dozvn) Well, sister, it's like 
this. Many of the pupils here are poor, but I am 
not — and I can get more pleasure out of the hundred 
that father sent me for my birthday, by adding it to 
this prize, than by going on the fishing trip. 

ErnestIxVE. (r. Pats him) You're a darling 
boy, Willie, but I must pay half. 

Willard. (l.) Not a cent! You're in half on 
the original investment, you know. I wonder what's 
the matter with Deeva Hale? She was crying just 
now. 

Ernestine. Dear little thing! She shamed the 
whole class, I hear. That's probably it. It doesn't 
pay to know too much. And she's very sensitive. 

Willard. She must be awfully poor. Couldn't 
we help her? 

Ernestine. (Sighs) No, we couldn't ! I've 



24 A COLLEGE CINDERELLA. 

tried in every way to assist her, but she's too proud 
to accept any aid that / can think of. 

WiLLARD. (With mock dignity) That you can 
think of ? Ah ! Wait ! Let a mans gigantic intel- 
lect grapple with this problem ! i^Muses) Ah, I 
have it ! It's all settled. 

Ernestine. Bless me, that's a comfort. Produce 
your plan. 

WiLLARD. Let her win the prize ! 

Ernestine. But how can she, if she can't? 

WiLLARD. (Reluctantly) That's some of your 
woman's logic, I suppose ? 

Ernestine. How could she write a play? One 
might as well ask her to build a house. 
, WiLLARD. The prize is for the best play, you 
know. It might be an awfully poor play, yet still be 
the best. 

Ernestine. (Laughs) You haven't much faith 
in the college, Willie. By the way, aren't you getting 
rather interested in Deeva Hale? 

WiLLARD. (Confused) Well, suppose I am? 
Is there any finer girl here — excepting you? 

Ernestine. (Laughs) There certainly isn't — 
and we can omit the exception, too! I don't think 
I'd be as patient in poverty and adversity as she is, 
after being brought up in luxury as she was. 

WiLLARD. (Sits R.) Poor little College Cin- 
derella. She never goes anywhere — sees anything 
or has a visitor, does she? 

Ernestine. No. All her people are dead, and 
their money gone, too. 

WiLLARD. Couldn't we employ her to do some- 
thing for us? 

Ernestine. Possibly! But what? 

WiLLARD. Why — a — engage her to work in our 
library ! 

Ernestine. (Laughs) Our library? Here? 
Two of Dr. Eliot's shelves? What could she do? 



A COLLEGE CINDERELLA. 25 

WiLLARD. (Awkzvardly) Well — a — a — take all 
the books from one shelf — and stack 'em on the 
other. 

Ernestine. {Solemnly) Willie, your inventive 
powers frighten me ! Then what ? 

WiLLARD. Why — a — put 'em all back again. 

Ernestine. You've evidently read about Tom 
Pinch ! She'd see through that. 

WiLLARD. (Gloomily) I suppose she would. 
(Muses. Springs up) I've got it! 

Ernestine. (Merrily) Clutch it, Willie, you 
don't have 'em very often. 

WiLLARD. (r.) It's all very nice to make fun 
but this is fine. (Impressively) Toss a roll of 
money in front of her from behind a bush or some- 
thing, when she's out walking. 

Ernestine, (l.) She's spend every cent of it 
advertising for the owner. 

WiLLARD. (Sighs) Oh, well — I give it up. 
Stop ! She does typewriting ! 

Ernestine. Yes, but she owns no machine. 
(Points up to typezvriter) Miss Moss allows hers 
to be used for the schools needs, letters — accounts, 
and the like ! Why ? 

WiLLARD. (Excitedly) Simply this. Half of 
those manuscripts of the plays that we have received 
are in dreadful shape. Even a post-office expert 
couldn't decipher some of them. Now, why not 
have Deeva Hale type them for us? It would 
be best for everybody, and she'd get a good sum of 
money for doing it. 

Ernestine. The authors wouldn't pay it. 

WrLLARD. But / would ! Say two dollars a 
script. She might get twenty-five dollars. 

Ernestine. (SJiakes his head) No ! It wouldn't 
do. 

WiLLARD. Oh, dear ! You're the great American 
objector this morning! What's the matter with the 
proposition ? 



26 A COLJJ'GE CINDERELLA. 

Ernestine. Unfair to the authors ! Dee^a Is a 
pupil hke the rest of them ! We and the committee 
are supposed to be the only ones to know as to the 
authorship of each play. Deeva^through typing 
them, might learn — so consequently it can't be. 

WiLLARD. On the consciences of women. 

Ernestine. {Quietly) The consciences of 
women, may save the world yet ! 

WiLLARD. {Pats her back) If they're all like 
yours they will. {Exit l. as Eleanor enters r., 
carrying racquet) 

Elenor. (r.) Oh, Ernestine, I was looking for 
you. Come out and play tennis. 

Ernestine, (l. c.) Thank you, Eleanor, but I 
have work to do and so have you ; haven't you ? 

Eleanor. {Ya^vns) Work? Oh, dear, I shall 
be so glad when I graduate ! I'm tired of studying 
and reading. Do you know that I can't remember 
a single thing I've learned ? 

Ernestine. Then you've not learned it ! You 
can't remember wdiat you ate last week, but your 
body was nourished by it, and grew, and you're 
alive and well through it. Mental food builds up 
character and knowledge. 

Eleanor. {Wearily sits r.) Oh, I dare say! 
If I had your mind it would be all right. You 
absorb knowledge as a sponge does water. My mind 
is kind of spongy too, but what it draws up don't 
amount to much. It's sort of vapory. {Gaily) I'll 
tell you what we'll do ! Play tennis for half an 
hour, and we can ask and answer questions across 
the net. 

Ernestine. {Laughs) And play, too? Why, 
we wouldn't have breath to utter a squeak. You 
and I will study a little, dear! {She playfully pulls 
Eleanor from seat, and they exit r., arms around 
each other. Eleanor making a wry face. A pause. 
Enter Deeva l., cautiously. She looks r. and l., 
and behind her, then goes up to blackboard, puts 



A COLLEGE CINDERELLA. 27 

hand behind if, and draws out a loose typed MS. 
Sits on stool behind typewriter and reads last page 
witli pride. Kisses it — adjusts a blank sheet in 
machine, types a fezv lines, caiitioiisly takes it out, 
reads it — takes rivets from drawer and binds the 
MS. together) 

Deeva. (With feeling) Mine! My little play ! 
Oh, if I dared to think it would win the prize ! 
(Rises, looks r. and l.) What name shall I sign? 
(Aluses) " Hope springs eternal in the human 
breast." I'll sign it Hope! Hope! (Sits at 
machine, types a word in MS., rises. Clyde Little 
strolls on r. and zvatches her, unseen, from behind 
curtains. She goes up to blackboard and slips her 
MS. behind it, just as Pearl Snow enters l. in 
cook's garb and carrying a sheet of note-paper — 
zvith ''print'' on it, such as children make) 

(Clyde quietly exits r., unseen by them.) 

Pearl. (Negro dialect) Missy Deeva, will you 
do me a big favor ? 

Deeva. (Comes dozvn) Of course I will, Pearl. 
But you shouldn't come in here, you know. Miss 
Moss has forbidden it. 

Pearl, (r. c, scornfully) What's she Jraid of? 
My color don't come off. I wish it would! Forbids 
it, eh? Well, / forbids people to come inter my 
kitchen, but dey comes jest the same ! An' dat ain't 
all! Dey steals fings, too! I done lost a big deep 
dish huckleberry pie, jest now. (Smacks Jier lips) 
All joy an' juice !. 

Deeva. (l. c.) That's /oo bad ! 

Pearl. I'll ketch 'em ! Huckleberries leaves dere 
marks! Smile, please. (Deeva smiles) No 
huckleberry on your teef ! I'll make Shylock 
Holmes look like six nickels, when I trail dot ere 
pie. 

Deeva. (Laughs) Was that what you w^anted 



28 A CO]JJ'(n<: CINDERELLA. 

to see me about ? You know that / wouldn t steal 
your pie ! 

Pearl. You — no ! But I want sympathy, / does ! 
Besides steahn', dey insulted me. Left a note, writ 
on my table dat said 

" Nigger, nigger, never die, 
Kinky hair an' chiny eye- 



We'U be hungry bye an' bye, 

Make more huckleberry pie, 

We will grab it on de sly." 

{Indignantly) CuUud folks ain't got no chance any 
more. I'm sick ob dis place! I wonder if Mr. 
Washington don't want a good cook? 

Deeva. (Solemnly) Oh, Pearl, you ought to 
learn a little more. Washington is dead! 

Pearl. Oh, I don't mean George, I mean 
Booker! (Deeva laughs) What ye hidin' behind de 
blackboard, Missy Deeva? (Suspiciously) If it's 
dat 'ere pie, after all — den I done lose my faith in 
human nature — an' I'll leave de church! 

Deeva. (Confused) Oh, Pearl, you must have 
eyes in the back of your head ! 

Pearl. I ain't talkin' 'bout eyes. I'se talkin' 
'bout pies! An' if dat fing behind de blackboard 
is 

Deeva. It isn't the pie. Pearl, but something far 
more valuable — to me. 

Pearl, (Doggedly) Dere ain't nuffin' more 
vallerble dan one o' my deep dish hucklebei'ry pies ! 
(Dramatically) Five cups o' berries — heap fruit 
in center — use pie crust 4 or 6 — if too juicy, you 
done add half a fist full o' flour — den 

Deeva. (Interrupts — goes up to blackboard) 
Promise never to tell ! 

Pearl'. Cross my heart. (Does so) 

(Deeva goes up to blackboard — looks around. 



A COLLEGE CINDERELLA. 29 

cautiously, draws MS. from behind it and brings 
it dozvn L. c. Pearl crosses to R. c.) 

Deeva. (Cautiously) I'm writing a play, Pearl, 

for the hundred dollar prize. I'll read you one 

verse. The Spirit of Knowledge is speaking. 
(Reads) 

" No cannon, sword, or bomb, shall mar our fray, 

A bloodless battle do we wage to-day 

No widows and no orphans zve create 

The weapon that we wield, is Love — not Hate." 

Pearl. (Critically) Dat's poultry, ain't it? 

Deeva. (Winces) Poetry, Pearl — yes! 

Pearl. Humph ! Why don't you jest say dat 
dere ain't gwine to be no fight! 

Deeva. (Distressed) Oh, Pearl, you have no 
sentiment. (Sighs — goes up — places MS. behind 
blackboard and conies dozvn) 

Pearl. Dat sounds like great, big bunches of 
nuffin' 'tall to me. People don't talk like dat nowa- 
days. 

Deeva. (Sadly) I'm sorry that you don't like 
it. Pearl. You are the only one I've read it to. 

Pearl. (Soothingly) Well, / won't tell on ye. 
Missy Deva. I fink too much of yer ! Forgit it — 
■ forgit it. 

Deeva. (Half amused — half sad) What's on 
the paper. Pearl? 

Pearl. (Chuckles) Now, you're a talkin'. 
(Waves paper) I'm a tryin' for dat hundred dollar 
prize myself. 

Deeva. (Amaced) You, Pearl? 

Pearl. Yes, indeedy ! De whole college is a 
tryin', I reckon ! I caught my helper Chloe, writin' 
on de back ob de cookbook jest now, but I soon 
settled her! (Looks at blackboard) Golly! Ain't 
dat tzvo hundred dollars a marked up dere ? 



30 



A COLLEGIA CINDERELLA. 



Deeva. (With surprise, and joyously) It cer- 
tainly is. Pearl. 

Pearl. (Gravely) Den I done git it, sure! An' 
when I does, Ell buy fifty dollars' worth of patent 
leather shoes — a yaller satin dress wid pink spangles 
— robbers blue silk stockin's, one ob dem hats widout 
no crowns — and ten dollars' worth of chittlings. 

Deeva. (Perplexed) What are chittlings f 

Pearl. Don't show your igimuss, child ! Chit- 
tlings is de cream of de whole pig family. I ain't 
had none since I been here. (Smacks her lips) 
Yum ! Yum ! Oh, you chittlings ! 

Deeva. But, Pearl — how can you compete for 
the play? Didn't I understand that you couldn't 
write ? 

Pearl. (Defiantly) Well, I can print. An' de 
best plays are always printed, ain't dey? Now, 
don't git gay — don't git gay ! As I un'stand it, dis 
yere play is to be 'bout de disadvantages of educa- 
tion ! 

Deeva. (Amused) The advantages, Pearl. 

Pearl. (Doggedly) Dat's what I said — dat's 
what I said! (Chuckles) Here 'tis! (Hands 
paper) It's all here ! If you fink it's all right an' 
done tell de committee so — (Confidentially) dere's 
gwine ter be a big hunk o' blueberry shortcake on 
your winder sill dis afternoon — yes, indeedy. 

Deeva. (Shocked) But, Pearl — isn't that 
bribery? 

Pearl. (Impatiently) Blueberry! 

Deeva. (Reads the paper zvhile Pearl tvatches 
her zvith an expectant chuckle) " Boy running 
along street to school. Big safe being hoisted in 
front of tall building. Rope breaks. Safe falls 
just behind boy what's running." 

Pearl. (Joyously) Dere you is ! De advantages 
of education. 

Deeva. (Piizzled) But is that all? 

Pearl. Dat's enough! 



A COLLEGE CINDERELLA. 31 

Deeva. But what has that to do with the advan- 
tage of education? 

Pearl. Why, a bhnd man could see dat ! De 
boy was late for school! If he hadn't been runnin' 
he'd a been killed by de safe. {With finality) De 
advantages of education ! 

Deeva. {Laughs) That's very funny, Pearl, but 
it wouldn't win the prize. 

Pearl. {Indignantly) It wouldn't? 

Deeva. I'm sorry, but I'm afraid not. You 
couldn't hoist a safe in here, and they wouldn't dare 
drop it if you did, who would take the risk of being 
the boy? 

Pearl. I'd be de boy ! Couldn't hurt my head 
wid no safe ! 

Deeva. {Laughs) It would wreck the building. 

Pearl. {Impatiently) Cardboard safe — card- 
board safe. 

Deeva. {Hands hack paper) I'm sorry, Pearl, 
but it wouldn't do at all ! Besides, they want some- 
thing that a lot of people can play in. 

Pearl. Call it de campus. 

Deeva. {Soothingly) You're the best cook in 
this town, everybody says ! So I'd stick to that if 
I were you. To be the best in any line is a great 
achievement. 

Pearl. {Disgusted) Great achievement! 
Humph! I dunno what dat is, but I'll bet it ain't 
got no two hundred dollars tied to it. Colored folks 
don't hab no chance. We get fooled all de time. I 
bought a book by Mr. William Black ! Den I saw 
by his picture dat he was zvJiite. (Deeva laughs) 
Don't you laugh at me! I reckon you'se jealous ob 
my illiterary abilities. {Goes l. — sourly) I ain't 
makin' no blueberry shortcake to-day. {Exits l. 
sullenly. Deeva sighs — looks after her, shakes her 
head and follozvs out l.) 

{A pause. Re-enter Clyde cautiously r. He goes 



Z2 A COLLEGE CINDERELLA. 

to blackboard — takes Deeva's MS. from behind 
it — looks around stealthily^ goes to desk l., 
zvraps MS. in a nezvspaper that is on desk, pre- 
tends to read nezvspaper zvhile really copying 
from MS. into a note-book, zvhich he takes from 
pocket, shozving surprise and pleasure as he 
does so. This lasts for about a minute, zvhen 
sounds of laughter r. cause him to look up 
cautiously, replaces MS. behind blackboard and 
exits stealthily l. zvith note-book. A leaf from 
the play drops to floor at back unseen by him. 
Enter Wysteria, Tom, Charley, Nora, 
Eleanor, and general pupils, r., joyously, most 
of them clutching zvild-looking manuscripts — • 
zvriten. All are excited.) 

Charley. {Waves MS.) I'll bet mine is the 
best of the lot ! 

Tom. (r.) Lucky for me that you're not the 
committee. Mine is the world beater. 

Nora, (c.) Wait till ye see mine! Wait till ye 
hear mine! For mine is the one that will be played 
— as sure as there's no snakes in Ireland. 

Wysteria. (l. c.) / saw snakes in Ireland. 

Nora. (Hotly) Ye never did ! 

Wysteria. In a menagerie! 

(All laugh.) 

Nora. Where you were getting your education f 

Wysteria. Oh, you're all such a silly lot. What 
can you write, on an educational subject? What 
does Charley know about it — or Tom? 

Charley. {Indignantly) Well, I like that! 

Tom. {Annoyed) A boy knows more about 
education in a minute than a girl does in a month ! 

Eleanor, (r. c.) I'll wager that Charley's play 
is about football or baseball, and Tom's on rowing 
or racing! 



A COLLEGE CINDERELLA. 33 

Tom. (Earnestly) Well, isn't that what we 
come to college for? 

(All laugh.) 

Wysteria. (Looks at blackboard) Oh, girls 
and boys, the prize has been increased to two hun- 
dred ! 

All. What! (They crowd around blackboard) 
Hurrah ! ( They join hands and dance around in a 
circle joyfully — all except Charley) 
■ Charley. (r. — suspiciously) Hold on — hold 
on ! How do we know that it isn't a joke? Anyone 
could have chalked that up ! 

(Enter Willard, l.) 

Eleanor. Oh, Mr. Love, you can tell us ! Is the 
prize really and truly tzvo hundred dollars? 

Willard. (Smiles) Really and truly — ^yes. 

All. Hurrah ! 

Willard. But, you can't all win it, you know. 
There is bound to be a lot of disappointment. 

Nora. Of course. But the best one gets it. 

Willard. Certainly. 

All. (In unison) Then Til win it! 

(Willard runs out r., laughing, hands over his ears. 
Deeva enters l., goes up and covers typezvriter. 
They see her but pay no attention to her.) 

Charley. (Runs up to blackboard) Come on, 
boys! We'll stick this blackboard in the front 
window, so that the Acropolis Academy folks across 
the way can see it. They'll be wild! (He and the 
boys try to take the blackboard from the wall, hut 
can't move it. Deeva is in an agony of suspense for 
fear her MS. will be discovered) 



34 



A COLLEGE CINDERELLA. 



Tom. Oh, let it be. (They all come dozvn) 
When I win the prize I'll buy a canoe. 

Charley, (l.) I'll take a trip with the Giants 
in the Fall. 

Eleanor, (l. c.) A silver fox set will do for 
me. 

Nora. (r. c.) I'll put the two hundred in the 
Savings Bank, and draw four per cent interest! 

Charley. Eight dollars a year? That's a fat 
lot! 

Nora. Shure ; it'll help pay car fares! 

Wysteria. (r., haughtily) Well, I don't need 
the money. It's the glory that I'm after. (Strikes 
an attitude, Miss Wysteria Hood the famous 
authoress j (Sits on the settee) 

Charley, (r., coils at her feet) And her pet 
dog! (All laugh. Rises) I'll tell you what we'll 
do ! Each of us read a bit of his or her play to all 
the others! 

Nora. That's a good idea. 

Wysteria. (On seat) Wait 'till Miss Moss 
goes out for her walk. 

Tom. (l.) But, there's to be no rough stuff, 
you understand ! No guying it and laughing in the 
wrong places ! And no breaking in on a chap. 
Wait 'till everybody gets through ! 

All. That's fair enough ! 

Wysteria. But you can applaud, can't you? 

All. (Savagely) Oh, yes, you can! 

Wysteria. Applause goes with nearly every 
speech in my play. 

All. How do you know ? 

Wisteria. (Rises) Why, you're all just as 
horrid as you can be ! (Sees sheet of MS. on floor) 
Hello! (Picks it up) Here's part of a play. 
Which of you Shakespeares dropped this? 

(They all wildly and quickly turn over the leaves of 
their scripts. If this is done very rapidly, in 



A COLLEGIA CINDERELLA. 35 

unison, with their noses dose to the MS., the 
effect is very amusing.) 

Wysteria. (Looks at leaf) It's called "The 
Triumph of Knowledge." 

All. (Relieved) Not mine! 

(Deeva at back is in an agony of shame and distress. 
She starts forward to rescue her property, then 
drazvs back.) 

Eleanor, (l.) Whose can it be? 

Wysteria. (r. c.) It's the last page, and is 
signed " Hope ! " 

All. (Laugh) Hope? 

(Deeva crouches dozvn, in shame, behind type- 
zvriter. ) 

Nora. (l. c.) Hope? Well, I hope that she, 
or he, gets it, if / don't. '' Hope on, Hope ever." 

Wysteria. Wait! I'll read what's here. Such 
stuff! It's in verse, too. 

Nora. Verse ! They fly high ! 

Wysteria. (Reads — badly) 

Shrink not into the blackness of the night, 
But upward, upward, to the morning hght. 

Creatures of Shame, banish your base delights, 
Let Education raise you to the heights. 

(All laugh — Deeva sobs, unheard by them.) 

Tom. Well, mines a classic compared to that. 

Nora. It's very good, if it were read properly. 

Wysteria. (Disdainfully) Read properly? 
Humph! I've had ninety-five per cent for read- 
ing! 

Nora. How did the other five get away? 



36 A COLLEGE CINDERELLA. 

Tom. 'Tisn't modern enough. What they want 
nowadays is plenty of " pep ! " 

Wysteria. (Throzvs leaf on stage) Such a 
play as that couldn't win any prize unless it were 
the booby prize. Someone ought to tell the author 
the truth about it ! It's ridiculous. The Com- 
mittee would die with laughter! 

Nora. Suppose you tell ! You're so kind and 
sympathetic! 

{Gong sounds r. They all run out r. rapidly, 
except Deeva. Plaintive mttsic; very soft and 
emotional, played outside or in orchestra, un- 
til Deeva exits. Deeva comes down-stage, 
slowly, sobbing, picks up the leaf from, the 
floor, looks at it, kisses it, goes up, takes man- 
uscript from behind blackboard, looks it over, 
hugs it, then tears it up — not too small pieces 
— throzvs it into grate r., then exits l., with 
arm over her eyes, sobbing softly. All this 
must be done with deliberation and deep emb^ 
tion. Enter Charley and Nora r. with man- 
uscripts.) 

Charley, (l.) I think what you read is aw- 
fully good, Miss McGinn. 

ISfoRA. (r., loftily) Good? Shure ; it's great! 

Charley. Yes, yes, of course. But I can't see 
your finish ! 

Nora. (Grimly) I can see yours, if ye don't 
alter it. 

Charley. Ha, ha, ha ! I always did laugh at 
that ! Now, why don't you put your last scene in 
the Yale bowl? 

Nora. {Puzzled) Bowl? Shure it isn't soup, 
an' I'll vow it isn't milk an' water ! 

Charley. Ha, ha, ha ! How witty you Irish 
are ! This is the idea. A football game in the big 
new athletic bowl at Yale, and just as your hero's 



A COLLEGE CINDERELLA. 37 

team is losing the game, your heroine, disguised as 
a ballplayer, jumps into the field and saves the day 
for the man she loves ! 

Nora. (Disdainfully) That sounds mushy to 
me. 

Charley. (Indignantly) Mushy? 

Nora. With milk ! My heroine is Lady Eileen 
Muckross of Ballihooly in the County Cavan, an' 
she's on top of the ruined castle of Glendalough, 
pursued by the " Peep o' Day boys ! " She is 
rescued by Sir Brian McGillicuddy, who climbs up 
five hundred feet from the Giants Causeway ! 
How could I get a football game into thatf And 
w^hat would it have to do with an educational sub- 
ject, anyway? 

Charley. (Hurt) Why, my people had to be 
educated, didn't they — or they couldn't have played 
football. And what has education to do with a 
man's climbing a rope, if it comes to that? 

Nora. (Warmly) If my heroine hadn't have 
been educated, how could she have written the note 
apprising Sir Brian of her danger? 

Charley. How are you going to get a ruined 
castle and a five hundred foot climb into this room ? 
Ha, ha! 

Nora. And where's your big Yale bozvl to be 
put ? Ho, ho ! 

Charley. I'll tell you what we'll do — we'll 
collaborate! They'll allow that! Then we can 
divide the prize ! 

Nora. All right. / to take seventy-five per cent 
and you tzventy-^\t ! 

Charley. (Indignantly) Well, I guess fiot! 
Pooh! 

Nora. Pooh, pooh! (She exits r.* to l.) 

(Enter Ernestine l.) 
Ernestine. (Calls) Deeva! Deeva, dear! 



38 A COLLEGE CINDERELLA, 

(Looks around — sees grate) Oh, those untidy 
boys and girls ! j\Iiss Moss would have a fit ! 
(Takes match from box on mantel, lights it, and is 
about ligJiting the paper in tJie grate, zvJien as she 
leans forivard to do so her attention is attracted 
by the zvriting. She extinguishes the match, takes 
one of the torn portions from the grate and reads 
it, shoiving surprise — then takes more hits from 
grate and reads them. She hurriedly unfolds 
newspaper which she takes from mantel, spreads it 
on floor, and emptying the grate puts all the bits in 
the newspaper — lays paper on desk l., runs r., and 
calls softly ) Willard ! Come here, please. 

(WiLLARD runs on R. — carries old copy-book.) 

Willard. What is it, sister? 

Ernestine. (Excitedly) A literary bonanza, 
I think. (Leads him to desk l. — hands him a 
fragment of play) Read tJiat! 

Willard. (Reads) 
" With her to aid them, millions strive and thrive. 

For she is Hope, that keeps the world alive ! " 

Ernestine. (Reads over his shoulder) 
*' A way for bounties born of sterling worth ; 
Her name is Charity, her field the earth ! " 

Willard. (l.) Why, it's splendid! (Reads 
more) But what about it? And who wrote it? 
This is a nice condition for it to be in ! 

Ernestine, (r.) La, la, la! Ce n'est pas ma 
faute. 

Willard. (Reads more) Better and better. 
It's great! 

Ernestine. Well, it was in the grate — thrown 
away ! 

Willard. Good gracious ! I'll take it to my 



A COLLEGE CINDERELLA. 39 

room and sec what paste and perseverance can do ! 
Is it an effort for onr prize, do you think? 

Ernestine. I do. See! Here's the first page 
— '* Entered for the Competition." Poor soul ! 
And we've found a gem, I believe. You know it 
is said that Kipling threw his " Recessional " into 
the waste-basket, and that it was rescued by his 
wife. I wonder who wrote this? 

WiLLARD. Who types here? 

Ernestine. Dozens of pupils. Some poor soul 
got discouraged and threw her work away. 

WiLLARD. Why ''her?" Couldn't it have been 
a ''hef' 

Ernestine. "Hes" don't give up that way. 
Their conceit saves them. 

WiLLARD. Well, that's pleasant! 

Ernestine. {Laughs) Not always! (Pats 
paper) There is some mystery here. We'll keep 
it quiet. 

WiLLARD. Absolutely, and perhaps astonish 
somebody. For I think it's the best we've had yet. 

Ernestine. So do I. The author's name isn't 
on it. 

WiLLARD. (Looks eagerly) Why, yes, it is. 
See! It's a non de plume — Hope! 

Ernestine. (Sadly) Hope! Whoever it was, 
they lost hope. 

WiLLARD. But you found it! It's typewritten, 
so we can't be guided by the handwriting. 

Ernestine. Not a soul shall know about this, 
and we will swear the committee and the actors 
to absolute secrecy ! 

WiLLARD. Absolute ! 

Ernestine. And the delightful mystery of it 
all ! 

WiLLARD. A sort of literary Moses-In-the-bull- 
rushes ! 

Ernestine, Do you think you can paste it to- 
gether ? 



40 A COLLEGE CINDERELLA. 

WiLLARD. I'll never give up 'till I do. It reads 
like a man's work, 

Ernestine. I don't see zvhy. 

WiLLARD. Well, there's a grace and a strength 
and a polish 

Ernestine. Fiddle-de-dee ! 

WiLLARD. An idea! {Tears up copy-book that 
he holds and throzvs the pieces into the grate. The 
fragments in quantity and appearance, must re- 
semble the torn manuscript) There! The despair- 
ing author won't know that the failure has been 
purloined. {He and Ernestine exit r. carrying 
the torn manuscript) 

{Enter Deeva l. She looks around, goes to 
mantel, takes match, lights it, and burns the 
papers in the grate, zviping her eyes as she 
does so — then exits sadly l. This action very 
slozv. Laughter and shouts outside R. Enter 
Tom, Charley, Nora, Eleanor, Wysteria 
and Pupils, noisily and joyously r., holding 
their MSS.) 

Wysteria. (l., reads) No," cried the haughty 
beauty, Geraldine Glendower, as she gazed into the 
sad and soulful eyes of the duke. " Not even for 
your ducal crown would I marry " 

Charley, (r., interrupts, reads) '* The crowd 
that packed the huge arena screamed aloud, ' Bring 
us Theophilus Touchdown, that we may crown him 
victor of ' " 

Eleanor, (r. c, interrupts) " The brave girl 
faced the snowy Alpine blast with a shudder, but 
drawing her lace shawl around her pearly shoulders, 
grasped her faithful alpenstock and " 

Tom. (l. c, interrupts, reads) "As the win- 
ning eight swept over the line and the stroke oar 
fainted, one wild yell of triumph rang out and shat- 



A COLLEGE CINDERELLA. 



41 



tered the peaceful air of the Thames Valley " 

r-ir ^\ ^.""-'^'^'^^^^Pt^^ reads) " Sir Brian Mc- 
Gilhcuddy fell upon his knees and cried in trumpet 
tones, Not even for the Lakes of Killarney would 
i allow you to descend that rope. Wait, Queen of 
my dreams m your perilous position until I can 
nnd a hve hundred foot ladder ' " 

(All, disgusted read loudly and simultaneously 
as curtaiji falls. Each is indignant zvhen in- 
terrupted by the other.) 

CURTAIN. 



42 A COLLEGE CINDERELLA. 



ACT IL 



CHARACTERS. 

IN 

THE TRIUMPH OF KNOWLEDGE. 

Minerva, Goddess of Wisdom Miss Moss 

The Spirit of Knowledge Ernestine Love 

1ST Handmaiden Wysteria Hood 

2ND Handmaiden (To be selected) 

Patriotism (Garbed as Columbia) Eleanor 

Haynes 

The Uninvited Guest Nora McGinn 

War (Dressed as Mars) Charles Chase 

Spirit of Ignorance Clyde Little 

Chorus Willard Love 



A COLLEGF. CINDERELLA. 43 



ACT IL 

Scene : — A fortnight is supposed to have elapsed. 
Lights dozvn. Before curtain rises Deeva as 
shabby as ever, in same dress, but looking neat 
and pretty, comes before drop curtain from 
L. and szveeps the front of the stage — ignoring 
the audience. She pauses several times, leans 
on broom sadly, zvipes her eyes, then goes on 
with her zvork — making her exit behind drop 
curtain to r. A pause. She re-enters from 
behind drop curtain r., wears hat, carries an 
old suit-case and a railroad '' time table '' 
conspicuously displayed. She looks around 
timidly, sighs, comes dozvn the steps into the 
auditorium, pays no attention to the audience, 
but goes straight up the main aisle tozvard the 
street, pausing, zvhen halfway, to look back 
at stage — Sighs, zvipes her eyes and disappears 
through the front entrance, out of sight. 
While she is doing this, Clyde Littles' face 
appears at side of curtain l. and he can be 
seen to be zvatching Deeva's movements, ob- 
served by the audience but not by Deeva. 
When she disappears he vanishes back on 
stage. Lights up. Miss Moss, as Minerva, 
comes from behind drop curtain r. to c. of the 
stage and bows to audience. 

Miss Moss. (To audience) My friends, we 
present here to-night the httle play that has won 
the prize of two hundred dollars in competition 
with over twenty others. The author— or au- 
thoress — is absolutely unknown, to all of us. The 
actors have been bound to secrecy both as regards 
the play and its title. Though I am supposed to be 
the Goddess of Wisdom, I am not wise enough to 



44 A COLLEGE CINDERELLA. 

fathom this mystery. The happy author, or au- 
thoress — is absohitely imknown to all of us, but will 
make himself, or herself, known to me, at the ex- 
piration of the performance to claim the glory and 
the money. I only hope that it is one of my own 
sex, I am sure. (Bozvs and exits beJiind drop cur- 
fain L.) 

(A pause. Enter Chorus from behind or between 
the drop curtains r., goes to c. of stage — 
boivs. ) 

Chorus. 

I'm Chorus, and the play I must unfold, 

I hail from Greece, and — oh — I'm very old 

If census takers ever questioned ^ne 

I'm sure, they'd question my veracity : 

Two thousand years and more (Sighs) — but let 

time pass- 

And, by the way, it always does, alas ! 

Men thought me dead — they found me still alive, 

And modern customs make me strangely thrive. 

I in an aeroplane was whisked away. 

Borne from my native Greece to U. S. A. 

And thus I'm here to tell you of the play ! 

It is the same old struggle that you'll see 

'Twixt Ignorance and Knowledge, but there'll be 

A different finish — popular I trust 

For Knowledge triumphs, as in time she must! 
Be kind unto each one that plays a part, 

For don't forget that Acting is an art 

And artistry cannot, as some suppose. 

So donned and dofifed, as is a suit of clothes! 

We may discover in our budding youth {points 

back) 
A Forrest, Cushman, Jefferson or Booth. 
{Waves hand) 

On. with the play — the actors wait in fear 

But 'neath your smiles — as / — 'twill disappear. 



A COLLEGE CINDERELLyV. 45 

{Bows and Exits behind Curtain l. Soft Music. 
Curtain rises on Act II. Scene the same, ex- 
cept that the stage is decorated to represent 
the picturesque hall of Knozvledge. Any 
pretty devices — garlands, wreaths, flowers — 
banners, to decorate the room. All chairs, 
desk, stool, typezvriter, platform, blackboard 
removed and fireplace banked zvith floivers or 
foliage. As curtain rises Knozvledge sits on 
a flozver-decked couch, r. c, reading from a 
book of gold and forming a pretty picture, 
zvhile 1st Handmaiden stands near her — a 
pause — 2nd handmaiden runs on l. and bozvs.) 

2ND Handmaiden. 
Fair Knowledge, lo ! the Great Minerva calls 



Knowledge. (Rises — joyously) 

And she is welcome to these classic walls 

I've sent around the world her aid to find, 
Using the wondrous wireless of the mind. 

{Music. Enter Minerva l. She and Knowledge 
embrace, zvhile the Handmaidens bozv lozv.) • 

Minerva. 
Across the earth Eve flown to you, my dear, 

Telepathy has told me — -I am here 

How can I help you? 

Knowledge. 

'Tis my darkest hour, 

I call to you because I need more pozver. 

INIlNERVA. 

Knowledge is Power and it should never fail 



Knowledge. 

But without Wisdom, 'tis of no avail- 



46 A COLLEGE CINDERELLA. 

It breeds but chaos, 'tis a reed that's frafl^ 
And so, Minerva, you of wondrous ways, 
Our Pallas Athene of classic days, 
Goddess of Wisdom, aid me here to-night 
To wage my wearying battle for the Right 
Against the hordes of Ignorance, that wait. 
Bent on destruction, at my very gate 1 

(Points L.) 

Minerva. 
I must away ! I'm called for near and far 
On every hand — my moments centuries are ! 
So many need me, who are incomplete. 

The Monarch and the Peasant, must I greet 

I dare not for a moment linger here 

Call when you need me, be not crushed by fear 



Send me the Signal and I shall appear. 

(Exits zvith dignity r.) 

1ST Handmaiden. (As Knowledge sits on 
couch) 

Now, mistress, sleep a moment, and we twain 
Will guard you safely till you wake again. 

2ND Handmaiden. 

Oh, yes, fair Knowledge, we are tried and true. 
Forget your cares and we'll watch over you. 

(Knowledge lies on couch and gradually sleeps. 
Soft Music. College Glee Club or Vocal Class 
could sing a soothing lullaby syinpatJietically 
behind scenes, or some soft and appropriate 
air. When music is finished.) 

2ND Handmaiden. 

Shall we not rouse her? 



A COLLEGE CINDERELLA. 47 

Might she not complain? 
Her time is precious— 
She should wake again! 

1ST Handmaiden. 
Nay, let her rest, through that her strength she'll 

keep 

*' Tired nature's sweet restorer, balmy sleep " 

{A crash outside l., and the voices of angry men 
are heard. The two Handmaidens shrink 
back in terror. The Spirit of Ignorance 
rushes on l., fiercely brandishing a huge 
gnarled stick.) 

1ST Handmaiden. {Alarmed) 
Knowledge awake — awake — Death's in the airl 

2ND Handmaiden. 
Oh, Mistress, there is danger — have a care. 

(Knowledge awakes — springs up — waves her 
"ivand, and Ignorance falls back.) 

Ignorance, (l. Fiercely) 
At last I penetrate your portals strong 
Knowledge, I hate you — reign, but not for long. 

I'm Ignorance, and you have crushed me so 

That I my features scarcely dare to shoiv. 
But now your hour has come — I'll stop your reign 
And I'll be master of the world again! 
Knowledge, your strength shall fade, your power 
must end 

Knowledge, (r.) 
Why, Ignorance, I've always been your friend- 



Without me, all the earth would grope in gloom 

Ignorance. 
Your every word more surely brings your doom 
We don't want knowledge, it defeats our plan 



48 A COLLEGE CINDERELLA. 

Knowledge. 
Whom do you mean by zve, unhappy man? 

Ignorance. (Defiantly) 
jMy children — War, Intemperance and Greed- 
Crime, Hate, Disease and Poverty 

Knowledge. 

Indeed ? 

Ignorance. 
Yes, they're all here. 
(Points L.) 
I'll call them and they'll heed- 



Although we're quite prepared for fiercest strife 
If you will abdicate, we'll spare your life. 

Knowledge. (Scornfully) 
Never ! Your vaporings cannot frighten me- 



The world would die, if Knowledge ceased to be 

I do not wish to meet your hybrid crew. 

Keep back your followers — I will deal with you! 

Ignorance. 
Well, there's Intemperance, once brave and gay 
Through you he's growing weaker every day ; 

On water and the like he can't abide 

King Alcohol is what keeps him alive. 

And then there's Greed — yon know him well 

enough 

You've checked him with Reform, and all tJiat 

stuff. 
With Honesty and such new-fangled trash. 
Till you've cut down his dividends, and cash. 

And Poverty — the whole wnde world to fill 

You've always had it, and you always will. 
But Knowledge helps her subjects to create 
Improved conditions, so to her — our hate. 



A COLLEGE CINDERELLA. 49 

Disease is my pet subject — all grows dim 
In wretchedness, when once compared with him 
But you — with Surgeons, Medicines, doctors — all 
Have weakened him 'till he is prone to fall 

And Crime — my favorite son — you've curbed his 

skill 
Though once the whole great world bent to his will 
While in each land he stealthily appears 
Justice and Knowledge are the things he fears. 

(Tumult outside l. Ignorance looks l.) 

I can't keep back my followers, though I've tried 
For here is one who will not be denied. 

(War rushes in l. fiercely.) 

War. (c.) 
I am red War, and oh — what years for me. 
The whole earth joined my gory jubilee — — 
But when your precepts to the world you give, 
My work is ended, so you must not live ! 
(Drazvs Sword and rushes at Knowledge) 

(The Handmaidens group themselves before her 
in terrified defence, R.) 

1ST Handmaiden. 
Dear Mistress, go, before the monster slay 

2ND Handmaiden. 
Oh, Knowledge, murder is their aim to-day. 

Knowledge. (Calmly) 

Fear not, dear Sisters, we've no need to fly 

/ am immortal — Knozvledge cannot die. 

(War shrinks back l.) 



50 A COLLEGE CINDERELLA. 

Knowledge. (Comes to c.) 
I too have followers — followers for the good 
The choicest of our noble womanhood. 
Mine against yours — the worst confronts the best 
I dare you Ignorance, to meet the test. 

First, there's Religion, anchor of mankind 

In all the Storms that rage or Shocks that blind 

Whene'er the falseness of the world you see 

Fly to the Rock of Ages — and be free ! 

And Justice, with her scales of Virgin gold 

Whose verdicts neither can be bought nor sold 

Many pretenders may usurp her name. 

But in the end she triumphs, to their shame! 

And Health, good health, that makes the people 

thrive 

Disease from place to place she'll quickly drive 

She is your birthright if you only knew, 
So come and claim her, for she is your due. 

One covers half the sins of half mankind, 
With open heart and open hand she'll find 
A way for bounties, born of sterling worth 
Her name is Charity, her field — the earth. 

" Honor and Fame from no condition rise " 

Men -.seek for Honor, and in many a guise, 

They think they've won her — while in Life's mad 

race 
Not one in ten would know her — face to face. 

Then Truth, fair Truth — serene and unfraid, 
Who scorns the crooked paths that uien have made 

Millions of counterfeits usurp her place 

But she unchanged reigns on, through Time and 
Space. 



A COLLEGE CINDERELLA. 51 

And Love — sweet love — the ruler of all hearts 

Leading young Cupid, carrying her darts 

Youth finds her perfect, and without alloy, 
While unto age she proves a thing of joy. 

One Spirit brings good cheer — if gone — 'tis said 
Full half the Universe were cold and dead 
With her to aid them millions strive and thrive 
For she is Hope, that keeps the world alive. 

No cannon, sword, or bomb, shall mar our fray 
A bloodless battle do w^e wage to-day. 

No widows and no orphans we create 

The weapon that we wield is Love — not Hate. 

(Knowledge waves wand r. Music — ''Star 
Spangled Banner." Enter Patriotism r. 
dressed as Columbia.) 

Patriotism, (r. c.) 
I'm Patriotism and I've stirred the pride 
Of milHons, who have fought for me — and died. 
But with Religion's power and that of Peace 
My aims shall change, and cruel warfare cease. 

War. (Defiantly) 
No one will ever live, to conquer me- 



To War all rulers humbly bow the knee. 

Patriotism. 
Not all — of uncrowned monarchs, we've no dearth 

Edison, Morse, Marconi, Bell — have worth 
Greater than all the Kings of all the earth. 

{Uninvited guest runs on r. Suffrage colors — 
votes for Women, etc.) 
Guest. 
One moment please, I really feel quite slighted 



52 A COLLEGE CINDERELLA. 

I'm here you see — though I was not invited 

I'll be quite gentle — do my very best 

And soon I hope to prove a welcome guest. 

(Hesitates) 

If there's objections don't be backward, pray, 

I am quite used to being in the way. 

{To audience) 

Suppose that you decide if I shall stay? 

(This might be a very effective ''bit'' — the ap- 
proval or disapproval of the audience decid- 
ing the question. Or, if the Director objects, 
the character can be eliminated.) 

Knowledge, (r. To Ignorance l.) 

We are your Sisters, and we wish you well 

In peace and concord join with us and dwell. 

Ignorance. (Hesitates — looks at War, l. c.) 
What think you? Shall it be as she has said? 
Are we not wearying of the lives we've led? 
Shall we decide upon the better course, 
Before Time decimates our dwindling force? 

(War — L. c, shakes his head in defiance.) 

Knowledge. (Distressed) 
Spirits, your ranks are thinning, year by year. 
Taught, by my .powers — your followers disap- 
pear ; 
Relinquish that which only torture brings 
And join with us, to strive for better things. 

(She opens her arms appealingly. Ignorance 
hesitates, but War is still defiant.) 

Knowledge. (Calls) 
Wisdom, I need your aid — come to my call. 



A COLLEGE CINDERELLA. 53 

{Enter Minerva — l. Ignorance and War start 
back at sight of her.) 

Minerva. {To them) 
Look upon Wisdom and she'll help you all! 

{The tzvo men look at Wisdom, then drop to their 
knees before Knowledge, c.) 

Knowledge. {Exultingly. Takes Wisdom's 
hand) 

Sound forth the tidings with a trumpet blast. 
Knowledge and Wisdom, lead the world at last ! 

{All zvave their zvands. There is a burst of 
triumphant music and the curtain falls to 
applause and loud cries of '' Author " — 
"Author!" Wisdom and Minerva c. Guest 
L. Handmaids r. Important Note : — // there 
is a large number of pupils, the follozvers of 
Ignorance and Knowledge could come on, as 
they are mentioned, appropriatedly garbed, 
and form groups at the back the follozvers of 
Ignorance l., those of Knowledge r. 
Peace zvith zvhite dove. Religion as a " Sis- 
ter." Love leading a little child as Cupid. 
Poverty in rags, etc. All picturesque. This is 
not absolutely essential to the play, however.) 



ACT ill. 



Scene : — The same. The curtain rises im- 
mediately on a scene of vuild excitement, zvhile 
cries of ''Author'' ''Author'' come from dif- 
ferent parts of the hall. {This can be ar- 
ranged) Pupils not in the play enter on stage 
from R. and l. and shaking hands zxjith the 



54 A COLLEGE CINDERELLA. 

characters, congratulate them loudly, thf girls 
kissing the girl performers, etc. If the fol- 
lowers of Knowledge and Ignorance are 
used, Religion should not be on the stage. 
Chorus is there, hozvever; but not Deeva or 
Pearl. Tom in ordinary attire. After all the 
hubbub, zvhicJi can last a minute or so. Miss 
Moss (Minerva) comes dozvn to the c. of the 
stage and raises her hand for order. When 
quiet is restored she speaks. 

Miss Moss. Friends ! You are calling for the 
Author, and I do not blame you! I am — {A 
pause) I am not the author! I only wish I were! 
You will agree with me, I am sure, that this is an 
excellent little play, and the fact that it was written 
by a pupil of Beaverdale, makes its success doubly 
gratifying. {Takes a package of money from her 
breast) I have here the two hundred dollars, so 
generously given by Ernestine and Willard Love — 
{Applause on stage) But to my mind the ability 
to write anything as good as this, is of more value 
than the mere money ! The happy author, or au- 
thoress, is of course among us. The prize awaits 
its claimant. {She looks around expectantly 
There is an awkzvard pause. No one stirs) A nat- 
ural difference is, of course, praiseworthy, but 
there need be none in this case. The work is too 
good. {Another azvkzvard pause. A little sharply) 
Let the writer of the play step forward, please ! 
Modesty in a matter of this kind, may be carried too 
far. {Another pause. Then Clyde Little — as 
Ignorance — comes dozvn c. Stands beside (r.) her, 
and bozvs) 

Miss Moss. {Amazed) You? 

All. {Startled, at back, roar) You? 

Clyde. {Quietly) I! 

Miss Moss. {Gasps) You wrote this play? 

Clyde. Why, the fact seems to amaze you ! 



A COLLEGIA CINDERELLA. 55 

Miss Moss. (Shortly) It does! 

(All on stage are pantomiming their amazeinent 
to each other, zvith looks and gestures of as- 
tonishment.) 

Clyde. (Coolly) A man need not wear his heart 
upon his sleeve in a matter of this kind, I imagine ! 
Although I am playing the part of Ignorance, that 
is not, necessarily, my line in life! 

Miss Moss. (Confused) Certainly not. What 
uon de plume did you select? 

Clyde. Hope! 

Ernestine. (Excitedly, l.) Quite right. Miss 
Moss. Such was the name attached to the man- 
uscript. 

WiLLARD. (r.) Yes, yes. Mr. Little is un- 
douhtedly the author. And as there appears to be 
no other claimant 

Clyde. (Annoyed) I don't like your inference, 
Mr. Love. 

Willard. (Politely) I had intended none ! If 
I inferred a trifle of— a — surprise — it might have 
been caused by the fact that you have never, in any 
particular, posed as a literary man! 

Clyde. {Sharply) Posing isn't very good form 
now-a-days, is it? U you intend to withdraw your 
offer of the money, why not say so, instead of beat- 
ing about the bush ? 

All. Sliame ! 

Clyde. (Savagely) I've always said that these 
things were never square 

Ernestine. (Warmly) There is not the slight- 
est intention of withdrawing the prize, Mr. Little! 

Miss Moss. (c. Sharply) Of course not. All 
this is quite unnecessary. The play was accepted, 
performed, applauded, made a success, is claimed 
by Mr. Clyde Little and his claim has not been 
denied! Only ladies and gentlemen are our asso- 



56 A COLLEGE CINDERELLA. 

ciates at Beaverdale and a claim by any ot them 
need not be substantiated in any way. (All ap- 
plaud) This is a part of the performance that our 
audience did not expect to see, but since they have 
seen it, they are entitled to view it all. 

(Ernestine and her brother look at each other in 
a puzzled zvay.) 

Ernestine, (l. To Clyde) But you gave up 
in despair toward the last, did you not, Mr. Little? 

Clyde, (r. Puzzled as to her meaning) I was 
often despairing of success. Yes. What author is 
not? 

(All the others crozvd around Clyde in a curious 
mood. Miss Moss has gone a little way up- 
stage to talk to Ernestine.; 

Tom. (l. To Clyde) Well, this beats all. 
I'm a great deal smarter than you, but / couldn't 
land it. 

WiLLARD. {As Chorus. r. c.) We had 
twenty-two manuscripts to select from, and, of 
course, we choose the best. 

Nora. (l. c.) Oh, well — that's a matter of 
opinion. 

Wysteria. (r.) I should say so! There was 
some high life in mine. 

Charley. {As " War'') I wonder if mine was 
ever read at all? 

WiLLARD. {Firmly) All were read — and read 
carefully. Which was yours? 

Charley. I called it the Goal! 
^WiLLARD. Oh, yes, yes. I remember that we 
thought it very funny. 

Charley. {Indignantly) Funny? Why, it 
was a tragedy. 

WiLLARD. {Surprised) Was it? 



A COLLEGE CINDERELLA. 57 

Charley. {Mimics hint) Yes. Was it? Why 
one scene alone would have carried any play to suc- 
cess. 

Wtllard. (Miises) Let me think ! 

Charley. Where the hero kicks the football 
through the window and knocks out the man who 
was marrying his girl. 

All. Ha, ha, ha! 

Tom. I'd call that a smashing success ! 

Charley. (Bitterly) Good stuff like that side- 
tracked, and a lot of mush accepted. 

Miss Moss. (Comes dozvn-stage zvith Ernes- 
tine) That will do, Mr. Chase. 

Chase. (Knozvingly to Clyde) I know where 
that two hundred is going. 

Clyde. (Sighs) I suppose you do. 

Miss Moss, (c.) The two hundred dollars? 
Oh, yes, yes. I beg your pardon, Mr. Little. 
Everyone can use money and I am sure that you 
have a need for this. (Hands him the money) 
Permit me to present to you your well-earned prize. 
This effort of yours will, I am sure, be followed by 
others, adding to the honor and glory of old 
Beaverdale. 

Clyde, (r. c. Nervously) I thank you. Miss 
Moss. I thank Mr. and Miss Love — I thank every- 
body ! No one can possibly know just how much 
this money means to me. 

Miss Moss. Now then, boys and girls ! 

All. (Very feebly) 

B-E-A-V-E-R-D-A-L-E. 

E. E. E. We know it's bound to please — — 

E. E. E. We utter it with ease ; 

Rip — boom — ah — h 

Clyde. (Is taken aback but bozvs and smiles 
uneasily) I will say good-night, for I am ex- 



58 A COLLEGE CINDERELLA. 

hausted! I thank you again for your appreciation 
of my play. (Starts to exit r.) 

Pearl. (Enters, quickly, l.) Hold on! You 
didn't write dat play ! (Wears loud colors) 

All. Sh ! 

IxItss Moss. (c. Sharply) Silence, Pearl ! You 
are forgetting yourself. 

Pearl. (Earnestly) No, ma'am Miss Moss — 
I ain't f orgettin'. Eve rememberin', I is ! Miss 
Deeva, sJie done write dat play. 

All. (Amazed) Deeva? 

Willard. Deeva? (Looks around) Why, 
where is she? 

(Charley and Tom stroll over r. quietly and get 
betzveen Clyde and the door.) 

Clyde. (Agitated, as Willard exits, very quietly, 
L.) Oh, this is ridiculous. Miss Moss. The word 
of a gentleman against that of an ignoramus ! 

Pearl. (Indignantly) Who you callin' a gentle- 
man? And who you caliin' a nigger? (Earnestly) 
Miss Moss, Missy Deeva done read me some of dat 
play two weeks ago, and I told her it was no good. 
(Sobs) It was dat verse wot said " We ain't usin' 
no cannons or razors dis mawnin' and we don't 
want no fight 'cause we'd radder be kinder peaceful 
an' love yer instead of hatin' yer, an' deres nuffin' 
doin' in widders an' orphans dis mawnin' — no, 
indeedy!" (All laugh. Indignantly) Well, dat's 
jest what Missy Deeva read, an' den she hid it be- 
hind de blackboard, an' I s'pose dat nian (Points to 
Clyde) lifted it when nobody was lookin' jest like 
a trifiin' nigger would steal a chicken. (Clyde 
furious. Pearl sobs) An' now her heart's broke 
an' she t'inks de whole world's down on her, an' 
she jest done pack her lil' ole carpet sack an' lit 
out, nobody knows where. 



A COLLEGE CLNDERELLA. 



59 



Miss Moss. (c.) Don't you think that this 
needs some explanation, Mr. Little? 

Clyde, (r. Nervously) How can I be held 
responsible for the wild statement of a woman like 
that? 

Pearl, (l. Defiantly) Don't you call me no 
woman ! I ain't no woman — I'm a lady, / is ! 
. Miss Moss. Sh! 

Ernestine, (l. c. To Clyde) One moment, 
Mr. Little! As I understand it, you deny all this? 

Clyde. (Hotly) Why, of course I do! The 
thing is absurd. Such a play written by the drudge 
of the school — an unlettered nobody ! 

Nora. (r. c. Fiercely) Now cut all that out! 
Deeva Hale is a friend of mine. 

Miss Moss. {Severely) Be a little careful as 
to your language, Mr. Little! Miss Hale is not 
a drudge. She chose to earn her education here 
through the bestowal of her services. And she is 
not unlettered, but well born and bred ! As for her 
being a nobody — a girl who can achieve what she 
has achieved, without parents, influence, or money, 
and keep the respect and esteem of those around her 
— is pretty considerable of a somebody. {All on 
stage applaud) You are in rather a peculiar situa- 
tion, Mr. Little, and I think it behooves you to ex- 
plain the matter, if an explanation be possible. 

Clyde, (r. Angrily) Anyone can become the 
victim of a lie! {Points to Pearl) If her unsup- 
ported word is to be taken against mine — then things 
have come to a pretty pass, indeed! I ask you all 
if it is reasonable to suppose that anyone, having 
submitted a play for the competition, would sneak 
away, on the very night of the performance, and not 
wait to learn what the fate of that play n>ight be? 
{Points to Pearl) As for her — the motive is 
plain ! She dislikes me because I took her to task 
yesterday, for impudence. 

Pearl, (l. Indignantly) Why, Ma'am Missy 



6o A COLLEGE CINDERELLA. 

Moss, dat ain't so ! I'm tellin' de trut' — de whole 
trut' an' nuttin' but de trut' — {Holds up right hand) 

Miss Moss. {To Clyde) What would be her 
object in swearing to a lie? 

Clydp:. {Nervously) An inferior mind like 
hers can brood over the smallest reproof and enlarge 
it to something monstrous ! A servant should not 
be permitted to bring such a charge against a gentle- 
man ! 

Pearl. Gen'el'mun don't eat nine cherry tarts 
hand runnin' an' den abuse de lady what cooked 
'em! 

Miss Moss. Be quiet, Pearl! 

Pearl. {Doggedly) An' gen'el'man don't 
spit out de pits, on de floor ! 

Miss Moss. {To audience) I trust that our 
friends will pardon this confusion ! 

Voice. {From audience) We like it! {This 
can he arranged) 

Miss Moss. {To audience) But we are trying 
to disentangle a very much knotted skein ! ( To 
Tom) You intend to embrace the legal profession, 
Mr. Tackle, — Do you feel competent to give any 
advice here? 

Tom. (l. c. Modestly) On some well-grounded 
points of law, perhaps ! The basic principles pos- 
sibly. 

Miss Moss. Then — as far as you can judge — 
from a legal point of view — what course should I 
pursue in this matter? 

Tom, {After a pause) Well, Miss Moss, it is 
one of the established rules of evidence, that in 
nine cases out of ten, an uncorroborated witness has 
little or no standing in Court. 

Clyde-. {Triumphantly) That's the idea! No 
standing in court. Quite right — Good ! Anyone 
could accuse a man of anything. Corroboration ! 
That's the idea ! 



A COLLEGE CLMDERELLA. 6i 

Miss Moss. {To Tom) I fear you are right. 
If Deeva Hale were only here? 

Clyde. But she isn't. She ran away ! 

Nora. (l. c. Triumphantly) How do you 
know that she did? {Points ^o 'Pearl) She says 
so. But she's an uncorroborated witness who has 
no standing in court ! 

{All applaud.) 

Miss Moss. {Despairingly) Oh, we must end 
all this. What will our audience think of us? 
{Points to company) And these poor, dear people 
who have worked so hard — they want to go to bed. 

All. No, no ! 

{A pause.) 

Miss Moss. I really do not see that I can do any- 
thing but allow Mr. Little's claim ! 

Clyde. {Eagerly) Of course you can't. Your 
cook there probably ate some of her own indigestible 
concoctions — fell asleep — naturally had nightmare — 
and dreamed this whole thing! 

Ernestine, (l, c. Shozvs that she has an idea) 
Miss Moss, in the absence of my brother {Looks 
around) I must ask Mr. Little a few questions. 

Miss Moss. As one of the donors of the prize, 
you certainly have that privilege. Miss Love. 

Ernestine. {To Clyde) Mr. Little, what had 
you done to your manuscript previous to its recep- 
tion by us ? 

Clyde. {Pushed) Done to it? I don't quite 
comprehend you. I had written it — typed it, and^ — 

Ernestine. {Excitedly) How did it reach our 
Committee room? 

Clyde. {Nervously) I left it there — secretly. 

Ernestine. {Tensely) In what condition? 

Clyde. In the very best condition! 



62 A COLLEGE CINDERELLA. 

• 

Ernestine. {Triumphantly) You are con- 
demned out of your own mouth. 

All. (Amased) What? 

Clyde. {Confused) I don't understand you. 

Ernestine. {Earnestly) My brother and my- 
self rescued this play: "The Triumph of Knowl- 
edge " from the grate where it had been thrown 
after being torn to pieces by its despondent author ! 

All. What? 

Pearl, (l. Triumphantly) Who'se niggermus 
now? 

(Clyde, overcome zvith shame, tries to exit r. btit 
is blocked by Tom and Charley.) 

Tom. {Snaps Jiis fingers) Come now, give over 
— give over ! 

Charley. Cough up that two hundred, please! 
Now then, altogether — one — two — three ! 

(Clyde looks at them. They both ^' shozv their 
muscle.'' Clyde hands Charley the money.) 

Pearl. {To Clyde) Did you steal dat pie? 

{There is a confusion at the front entrance. 
Willard still dressed as Chorus, but wearing 
a long linen " duster'' runs dozvn center aisle 
from street to the stage dragging the astonished 
Deeva. He pulls her up steps to stage over the 
fo tligh ts, gasp ing . ) 

Miss Moss. {With mock sternness) Deeva 
Hale, did you run away? 

Deeva. (c, terrified) Yes, ma'am, but I missed 
my train, and he caught me in the depot. 

Miss Moss. (r. c, mock sternness) Deeva 
Hale, did you write a play ? 



A COLLEGE CINDERELLA. 63 

Deeva. (Frightened) Yes, ma'am, but I won't 
do it again ! 

Ernestine. (Gently) What did you call your 
play? 

Deeva. (Shamefaced) The " Triumph of 
Knowledge." But I tore it up. It wasn't any good. 

Miss Moss. (Hugs her) It has just been 
played. You have won the prize. Two hundred 
dollars ! 

Deeva. (Da::;ed) But I tore it up — and then 
burned it ! 

WiLLARD. (c.) It zvasn't burned. We resetted 
it, and your play is a success. 

Deeva. (Gasps) My pl^yl (Stands well dozvn 
toward the footlights, zvith her hack to audience, and 
looks at the characters wonder ingly) 

Knowledge. (Szveetly) I am your spirit of 
knowledge, little mother. 

Patriotism. And /, Patriotism. 

Two Handmaidens. And zve your handmaidens. 

Miss Moss. All your fairy children, Deeva. 

Deeva. My play? My people? It seems like a 
dream I 

Charley. Well, here's a little bit of reality for 
you. (Hands her the money) 

Clyde. (r., agitated) One moment, please! 
(As he speaks they all go over to l. of stage leaving 
him alone r. Miss Moss takes Deeva l., also) 
Miss Moss, boys and girls, I know I've forfeited 
all Hght to your friendship and esteem, but I ask 
you to hear me for the last time ! I beg of you to 
forgive me. I'm not wicked — I'm weak. I gambled, 
lost, and couldn't pay. Threatened with exposure, 
I went mad; there was no claimant for this play, so 
in my abnormal mood, I saw an opportunity to meet 
my pressing needs. (Hangs his head, then lifts it 
again) But I mean to reform, make good and live 
this down, so perhaps one of these days, old Beaver- 
dale will take me back! Good-bye all — and God 



64 A COLLEGE CINDERELLA. 

bless you! (Runs out r. in agitation, as characters 
fill the stage again r., l., and c.) 

Wysteria. (r. c.) Deeva, dear, I zvasn't al- 
ways very nice to you and I publicly ask your 
pardon. Please forgive me. 

(Deeva kisses her.) 

Miss Moss. (l. c.) Pearl, you must tell Miss 
Deeva how you helped in this. 

Pearl, (l.) An' hurted it, too ! Yes, ma'am^ 
Missy Moss, if I hadn't said dat play was had; 
mebbe she wouldn't have f rowed it away ! But 
my 'pologies will arribe ebery day, in de shape ob 
strawberry shortc^ko: an' huckleberry pie! You 
take your nice flaky crust an' pour in de berries — 
an' 

Deeva. (c, looks at money) Two hundred dol- 
lars? / earned all thatf 

WiLLARD. {Feelingly) And the glory, Deeva! 

All. (Staccato, and zvith vigor) 

Deeva Hale — Deeva Hale, 

She won the prize at Bc3.Ytrdale ! 

(College yell.) 

D-E-E-V-A-A-H-A-L-E ! 
DEE, her play was bound to please, 
V A A, she won the prize with ease ! 
Zip—BOOM— AH-h-h ! 

CURTAIN. 

(Deeva and Willard c. — he shyly holding her 
hand. Miss Moss r. c. — Ernestine l. c. — 
Wysteria and Tom r. — Charley, Nora and 
Eleanor l. Pearl at extreme l.) 



A COLLEGE CINDERELLA. 65 

AUTHOR'S NOTES. 

The producer will see the value of preventing any 
stiff lines, by grouping the players into as easy and 
natural positions as possible. 

The performers will realize that many of these 
speeches are written with a view to eliciting ap- 
plause and laughter, so that, while rapidity in action 
and dialogue is essential, care should be taken not 
to " break in " on any preceding speech. 



,«?^''^ ^^ CONGRESS 

lillll 



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016 235 519 3 V 



